LIGHT flows our war of mocking words, and yet, | |
Behold, with tears mine eyes are wet! | |
I feel a nameless sadness o’er me roll. | |
Yes, yes, we know that we can jest, | |
We know, we know that we can smile! | 5 |
But there ’s a something in this breast, | |
To which thy light words bring no rest, | |
And thy gay smiles no anodyne; | |
Give me thy hand, and hush awhile, | |
And turn those limpid eyes on mine, | 10 |
And let me read there, love! thy inmost soul. | |
Alas! is even love too weak | |
To unlock the heart, and let it speak? | |
Are even lovers powerless to reveal | 15 |
To one another what indeed they feel? | |
I knew the mass of men conceal’d | |
Their thoughts, for fear that if reveal’d | |
They would by other men be met | |
With blank indifference, or with blame reprov’d; | 20 |
I knew they liv’d and mov’d | |
Trick’d in disguises, alien to the rest | |
Of men, and alien to themselves—and yet | |
The same heart beats in every human breast! | |
25 | |
But we, my love!—doth a like spell benumb | |
Our hearts, our voices?—must we too be dumb? | |
Ah! well for us, if even we, | |
Even for a moment, can get free | 30 |
Our heart, and have our lips unchain’d; | |
For that which seals them hath been deep-ordain’d! | |
Fate, which foresaw | |
How frivolous a baby man would be— | 35 |
By what distractions he would be possess’d, | |
How he would pour himself in every strife, | |
And well-nigh change his own identity— | |
That it might keep from his capricious play | |
His genuine self, and force him to obey | 40 |
Even in his own despite his being’s law, | |
Bade through the deep recesses of our breast | |
The unregarded river of our life | |
Pursue with indiscernible flow its way; | |
And that we should not see | 45 |
The buried stream, and seem to be | |
Eddying at large in blind uncertainty, | |
Though driving on with it eternally. | |
But often, in the world’s most crowded streets, | 50 |
But often, in the din of strife, | |
There rises an unspeakable desire | |
After the knowledge of our buried life; | |
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force | |
In tracking out our true, original course; | 55 |
A longing to inquire | |
Into the mystery of this heart which beats | |
So wild, so deep in us—to know | |
Whence our lives come and where they go. | |
60 | |
And many a man in his own breast then delves, | |
But deep enough, alas! none ever mines. | |
And we have been on many thousand lines, | |
And we have shown, on each, spirit and power; | |
But hardly have we, for one little hour, | 65 |
Been on our own line, have we been ourselves— | |
Hardly had skill to utter one of all | |
The nameless feelings that course through our breast, | |
But they course on for ever unexpress’d. | |
And long we try in vain to speak and act | 70 |
Our hidden self, and what we say and do | |
Is eloquent, is well—but ’t is not true! | |
And then we will no more be rack’d | |
With inward striving, and demand | |
Of all the thousand nothings of the hour | 75 |
Their stupefying power; | |
Ah yes, and they benumb us at our call! | |
Yet still, from time to time, vague and forlorn, | |
From the soul’s subterranean depth upborne | |
As from an infinitely distant land, | 80 |
Come airs, and floating echoes, and convey | |
A melancholy into all our day. | |
Only—but this is rare— | |
When a beloved hand is laid in ours, | 85 |
When, jaded with the rush and glare | |
Of the interminable hours, | |
Our eyes can in another’s eyes read clear, | |
When our world-deafen’d ear | |
Is by the tones of a lov’d voice caress’d— | 90 |
A bolt is shot back somewhere in our breast, | |
And a lost pulse of feeling stirs again. | |
The eye sinks inward, and the heart lies plain, | |
And what we mean, we say, and what we would, we know. | |
A man becomes aware of his life’s flow, | 95 |
And hears its winding murmur, and he sees | |
The meadows where it glides, the sun, the breeze. | |
And there arrives a lull in the hot race | |
Wherein he doth for ever chase | 100 |
The flying and elusive shadow, rest. | |
An air of coolness plays upon his face, | |
And an unwonted calm pervades his breast. | |
And then he thinks he knows | |
The hills where his life rose, | 105 |
And the sea where it goes. |